Dating

     Over the last 6 months I have dated a few men, and each experience has been enlightening for me. All the men have had their good points, most have had less than desirable traits, and a spare few have been what I would put in the "keeper" category. 

      But as I look back on my experiences I have realized I truly need to look at myself, at my strengths and what I want in a relationship, and not so much at the men, for the right one will step forward when he makes the choice to choose me.....

      So here goes... the delving into my psyche. Many of you who read this may not even care, and that is your right... but as these are random thoughts I have, I am putting them out there for me to examine, and for you to hopefully look at yourselves and possibly discover what you want in life, be it in your own relationships, in your work life, or just in yourself... 

    Well let me first start with what I want in a relationship: 

1. I want a long term, serious relationship, one that will go the distance, someone to grow old with, someone who has similar interests, likes, dislikes, someone to share life's daily ups and downs...

2. I want someone who chooses me, who truly wants to spend time with me and be with me...

3. I want someone who is very affectionate. That puppy dog affection that I have witnessed in other couples in love, in couples who truly want to be with each other, the little touches, the looks across a room, the texts in the middle of the week, in the middle of the day just to say "I am thinking about you"...

4.  I want someone in my life who is thoughtful, kind, honest, true to themselves, hard working, smart, funny, and can laugh at themselves, and who knows how to appreciate the simple things in life...

5. Someone to love and who loves me in return, someone who accepts me just the way I am...

6. Someone to take care of and who wants to take care of me in return....

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This is a short list, there are a couple more that I would add, but they are a bit too personal for here.... and this may sound like a list that everyone wants in a relationship. It is a pretty basic list but it all adds up to a connection being made..... And as I look at it and then look at my own strengths, I am finding they are extremely familiar. It appears I want the type of person in my life who is similar to me...Is that so different from what anyone else wants? I don't think so.

Strengths:

So here is a list of my strengths. Some may be silly sounding to you and even to me, but they are a short list of what makes me, me.....

1. I am happy and enjoy life to the fullest.
2. I have so much love to give, and I give it unconditionally, which I feel is a little scary to most people (men).
3. I laugh easily and I am silly a lot.
4. I smile almost all the time.
5. I am kind, honest, loyal (to a fault), and a person of good character.
6. I find enjoyment in the little, simple things in life.
7. I appreciate people for who they are.
8. I am a good cook.
9. I am creative.
10. I am funny.
11. I connect with people I am close to in such a way it is almost psychic.
12. I am very affectionate and show the people I care about how much I love them all the time.
13. I cherish being alone with one person just doing nothing.
14. I make awesome homemade bread.
15. My scones are to die for (lol).
16. I make fabulous spaghetti sauce.
17. I appreciate things around me and notice them, marvel over them....
18. I am thankful for everything, even the bad things, that come into my life, for everything has a lesson to teach.
19. I squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom (ha, ha)
20. Sunsets take my breath away.

-and the list will continue, I am working on finding 50 things, believe me it isn't easy ***************************************************************************************

    I can go on, but I will stop here for my public list, I am sure some of you will be able to tell me things to add, as you know me even better than I know myself..... 

      As I read down the list of my strengths... I know and realize, I am a terrific person, this is not bragging, I am who I am, and I also am coming to realize that anyone should feel lucky to be in my life...I know I feel lucky all the time to have the people in my life that I do, the people I have chosen to be in my life.......

Faults:

    As I look back at dating it has made me think how easy it is to fall into thinking of my faults instead of my strengths.  I have written those down as well, but the list is small compared to my strengths. But it has made me wonder how many of us walk around with just our list of faults running through our heads on a daily basis instead of our strengths? 

    I would say most. It is hard for us to look at ourselves and say good things. Society has taught us that it is selfish, immodest to think highly of ourselves, that to do so is bragging. 

     Is it any wonder we have a society that is filled with drug addicts looking for the next high, reality shows were people degrade themselves and others, a society where people don't seems to value each other?

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     But imagine the shift in the energy you give out if you can begin to focus on your strengths? I imagine and feel that the positiveness would astound you, and me... 

   So from now on I am going to focus on my strengths and embrace the positive feelings that I know will come.